Tuesday, March 27, 2012

March Madness: The Tweet 20

I dedicate this Twitter round-up to my new followers listed below and those of you check out the trio of tweets along the right side bar of my home blog. And, yeah, to those who just stop by on occasion to check out the blog.

Thanks -- Will Black (@rockerWillBlack), The Weeklings (@TheWeeklings), Elda Nealey (@Elda_Nealey), Libby Shields (@Travelingsingle), Kelsey Varwig (@KVarwig), Batto Rupp (@battopydp0), and my new buddy Gary Trask (@golfergt).

In honor of March Madness, here’s my Sweet 16 tweets from the past month. Actually, four more than 16 so I guess it’s the Tweet 20.

• Male Santorum supporter yelled, "I love you, Rick!" during speech. I imagine he was pepper-sprayed, advised to never enlist and taken to an undisclosed location to pray the gay away.

• Gitmo tortures continue. New $750K soccer field isn't so inmates can play. No, they'll be forced to watch others play. Cheney strikes again!

• I'm so convinced multi-tasking is harmful to thoughtful productivity I vow to never again walk and chew gum at the same time.

• Just realized: three of my all-time best buddies are named John, Paul and George. I guess that makes me Ringo. What an artistic pity.

• Really popular all-you-can-eat buffets are places where the crowd never thins.

• That "waste not, want not" is a load of crap. I waste nothing, yet still want everything.

• Rick Santorum's kids stare at him the way the apostles must have stared at Jesus after he told a really great joke.

• Anyone know if the Doomsday Clock has a snooze alarm?

• My daughter's becoming such an ardent feminist she's arguing Idaho should change the name of its state capital to Girlse.

• I predict within 5 years ads projected monthly onto the full moon will be common. My money says Geico will be first.

• Does anyone know what the "i" in iPod or iPhone stands for because iDon’t.

• Does anyone know why Apple products are made to be obsolete in six months when they should be relevant for six years because iDon’t

• Anyone know why Apple spends its time tinkering with updates when they should be reinventing the internal combustion engine 'cause iDon’t.

• I'll bet they eat a lot cereal in the land of milk and honey.

• If Flex Seal works as well on underarms as it does on screendoor boats I'll never need Right Guard again!

• People would be more choosy about their lovers if we actually became screwed to the people we've screwed.

• Daughter, 11, is starting to make hurtful observations about my increasing decrepitness. I'm sure grow out of it by the time she's 40.

• Is everyone around Al Roker always drunk or does being around Al Roker just make people act drunk?

• The common term "pinch hit" makes baseball seem more violent than it is.

• Did the flag have to go through puberty before it became Ol' Glory?

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