Thursday, December 28, 2017

Scaramucci becomes 2nd most prominent celeb to follow @8days2Amish

Anthony Scaramucci surprised me on Tuesday by becoming my 1,673 follower at 8Days@Amish. He becomes my second most prominent follower, a distant second to the fabulous Holland Taylor.

I brag about Taylor. I’m one of only 444 people the beloved actress follows. So Taylor is discriminating, as well as tasteful. I’ve always enjoyed her acting, her persona, her friendships with folks like Tom Hanks and her romantic companionship with equally exquisite Sarah Paulson. 

Scaramucci, on the other hand, follows 267,000, which is the Twitter equivalent of following Newark. So I’d take being followed by one Holland Taylor over being followed by 1,000 Scaramuccis. 

But, really, who cares? I’m starting to think Twitter jumped the social media shark when the character count went from 140 to 280.

Here are my best from December …

• Historian David Halberstam was writing about the fall of Gen. Douglas MacArthur when he cited Euripides who in 480 BC said, "Those whom the gods destroy they first make mad." Can anyone help me find a current prospect? Anyone? #Trump

• I’m on the verge of proving my two office plants are talking to one another. But every time I get close enough to record the conversation the bully ficus says, "Shut up! Here he comes again!"

• I wonder if discerning customers would appreciate a top soil salesman who promised prices guaranteed dirt cheap.

• Because our most reliable conversation starters -- state of weather/health -- will be moot, I imagine heaven will be full of awkward silence. Our health in heaven will be perfect and the weather heavenly so what ice breakers will be left? 

• NASA planet-hunters say earth-like sphere may have all the critical elements necessary to sustain human life. To me that means Subway.

• How would secular and sacred pop culture differ had Jesus been born April 1?

• Trump’s embarrassing slurred speech today has me feeling relieved we live in a nation where no one would stoop to mocking someone for any physical behaviors beyond their control. #trumpslurring (picture with Trump mocking disabled reporter)

• My concern is if Jesus were born today rampant light pollution would make locating the star of Bethlehem impossible. And don't get me started on the odds of finding on this Earth one, let alone 3, wise men. 

• If I were God, there'd be no war, no injustice, no want and every snowflake would be an identical little smiley face. Who am I kidding? If I were God, there wouldn't be any snow!

• The city of Nice on the French Riviera is renown as one of the most lovely places on Earth. They may dismiss it as too obviously lowbrow, but I'm going to propose a promotional advertising campaign based on the slogan, "Nice is Nice!”

• It is absolutely mind-boggling that in today's blood-drenched, weaponized America that anyone bent on mass murder is so incompetent he cannot even kill himself. #NewYorkCity #bombing

• This is the time of year to remind friends the perfect stocking stuffers will always be feet. 

• Q: What does it mean when you hear, "Hoot! Hoot!" coming from a nearby tree this time of year? 
A: Owl be home for Christmas.

• If, like me, you enjoy a really great fish-out-of-water story then you'll have to agree the greatest fish-out-of-water story ever told is the story of man's evolution. 

• I wonder how many takes it took for Madonna to nail her version of "Santa Baby" or does she just make appalling look easy.

• All America will benefit when we all realize, yes, we have the 1st Amendment and the Right to Free Speech, but we also each have the Miranda, the Right to Remain SILENT. So how about today everyone just shut the hell up!

• ”Oh, there's no place like phone for the holidays!”

• I’m aware of the inherent contradictions of wanting to become rich and famous by preaching on how corrosive wanton greed has become to our national soul. 

• Oh, the little town of Bethlehem shares many of small town characteristics as many neighboring Pennsylvania towns but for reasons of tradition and melody I'm glad Jesus wasn't born in the little town of Altoona.

• I’m resuming my holiday tradition of always yelling "Blucher!" seconds before the horse whinny sound on "Sleigh Ride.”

• Conservative whites livid when wished Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas think blacks over-reacting about unarmed blacks getting killed by conservative whites.

• We’ve reached a point in our national political discourse where it’s impossible to argue with people with whom you disagree and you risk infuriating those with whom you do, in fact, agree if you’re not agreeing loudly enough.

• His actions/tweets lead me to believe Donald Trump dreams he will one day be able to face Barack Obama in an actual presidential election. It's maybe the one aspiration Trump and I share.

• So Todd Palin told police he needed his gun to protect his family and was going to achieve this by shooting one of ‘em?

• I envision a Vegas lounge act composed of tiny sideburned toymakers singing "Heartbreak Hotel,” “Don’t Be Cruel,” etc. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Elves Presley!

• John Lennon sang "War is Over" in 1972. Since then thousands of American servicemen and women have been killed in 26 overseas conflicts in every corner of the globe. Imagine.

• NRA’s Wayne LaPierre’s influence will begin to wane the instant conservatives become aware his name sounds kind of French.

• Given the dietary challenges Paleolithic cavemen faced, I'm surprised Fred & Barney were tubby. I'm surprised they found time to bowl, too.

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