Showing posts with label WCNS-AM Latrobe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WCNS-AM Latrobe. Show all posts

Monday, May 4, 2015

Dashing my radio dreams


As of this morning, I’ll no longer listen to the radio station I’m still hoping will give me a job.

I’m still eager to launch my proposed “Use All The Crayons TRAVEL!” radio show on 1480-WCNS AM here in Latrobe.

It was in mid-March that I pitched the Latrobe station’s new owners about a lively half-hour radio show based on my new travel website. The timing seemed perfect.

My tech buddies had just put the still-evolving site together, the station’s new owners were promising exciting new changes and a Latrobe author had just published a book declaring me a bona fide Latrobe legend.

It looked like the stars were aligning to make a Latrobe legend even more legendary.

And for once, I’m not referring to Arnold Palmer.

The station was very enthused. We talked format, potential guests and whether it’d be a good idea to expand the show to an hour. It was all very promising.

But first I needed to secure advertising.

I, of course, thought it’d be a cinch. Really, I have a lot of friends in prominent businesses in town. Many of them, however were tied up in supporting already existing programming. Duplication made no sense.

Others said they saw no value advertising on a weak AM station that gets relatively few listeners.

“But that’s changing,” I countered. “The new owners are now streaming and archiving every show on-line. And they’re promising to do even more.”

That much was true.

It’s just that the "more" is turning out to be something I consider destructive to good community programming.

Yes, it’s talk radio.

Not just any talk radio.

It’s Tea Party talk radio with Jim Quinn Mondays through Fridays from 6 to 9 a.m.!

It's a non-partisan matter. I’d stop listening if they were bringing in Michael Moore to read aloud filthy limericks, in which I'd revel.

CNS, don’t you understand I love you just the way you are, and that’s in part because in the still misty mornings I get to hear Billy Joel sing soothing songs like “Just The Way You Are.” I listen to it every morning from about 6 to 8. It gives me the local and national news and fills my head with innocuous pop ditties from  “America’s Best Music” syndicated format.

Now, I hope what I’m about to write doesn’t demolish the years of cool cred I’ve built by talking about my impeccable tastes in music.

But I’ve found the soothing mix from the likes of Neil Diamond, The Carpenters, Frank Sinatra and others puts my mind in a good soft place from which to write this blog. And I enjoy hearing my friend Dow Carnahan read the local sports and news.

It’s great background audio for when I’m reading the paper and trying to brainstorm a daily topic upon which to expound.

And if “Feelings,” the 1975 Grammy Song of the Year by Morris Albert comes on, well, my iPod with its 7,897 rockin’ antidotes is right there to expunge any saccharine overdose. Heck, I might even be moved to write about how musically bereft 1975 must have been for “Feelings” — “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Feelings!” — to have in ’75 been song of the year.

All I can figure is The Stones must have been in some Swiss clinic getting their blood swapped for something less toxic.

Talk radio is something I’d never listen to in any situation in which I’m striving to be creative.

And Quinn is among the worst. He’s a former Pittsburgh morning zoo giggler who in 1990 upset news director Liz Randolph by repeatedly joking on air that she was promiscuous.

Randolph sued for sexual harassment and a jury awarded her $694,000. The event led to Quinn’s dismissal and down a self-righteous path toward vitriolic right wing radio.

If I chose to listen to Quinn, guaranteed, three of every four posts would be my opinions refuting his.

It’d be intolerable and boring.

Just like Quinn!

So my dreams of having my own weekly radio show on the local station seem to have, for now, been dashed.

It would have been cool and I’m not going to say it doesn’t hurt.

It does.

After all, I do have feelings.

It’s just that after today, I’ll no longer have “Feelings.”



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Sunday, March 10, 2013

Encore! Daylight Savings Time annoying AND deadly

Welcome to Day 1 of our great national hangover. Yes, it's time to set the clocks ahead and stumble zombie-like through the day. I wrote this one last year on DST. Still applies. Try and take a nap today. Or two.



It may come as a surprise to sophisticated readers, but the inspirational soundtrack for these posts is often the morning farm report.

I rise with the roosters and am on the road by 6 a.m. most mornings, my radio set to Latrobe WCNS-AM.

As the local agriculture reporter drones on about the price of soy, winter wheat and dairy futures, I drive half asleep past about a dozen chickens, four cows and a black and white goat my daughters tell me is named Oreo, famed among the school bus set for once having escaped by chewing a hole in his fence.

The farm report and the bucolic scenery seem to further soften my still-foggy mind so the first lively newspaper story I see jumpstarts my thinking so I can wax euphoric over things like mimes and Earth’s eventual occupation of Kepler 22b.

Today I’d like to issue a little farm report of my own.

The cows look relaxed, the chickens serene and Oreo fit as a fence-chewing fiddle.

And I feel like I was out drinking all night and got all of the headache and none of the fun.

It’s Day II of our great national hangover, Daylight Savings Time.

I’ve had my share of killer hangovers, but those I’ve suffered in solitary.

Turns out Daylight Savings Time is killing us all.

A University of Alabama at Birmingham news release said the Monday and Tuesday after moving the clocks ahead are associated with a 10 percent increase in the risk of heart attack.

It’s a common vanity for men and women to boast they have some time to kill.

Foolish mortals. Time’s killing you!

The exact opposite is true in October when we move the clocks back: Risk decreases by 10 percent.

It’s only logical to conclude if we move the clocks back an hour once a month we could eliminate killer heart attacks all together.

I don’t understand the need to monkey around with time so much.

I have enough trouble sleeping. I lay awake worrying about money, my fathering deficiencies, Sidney Crosby’s return from concussion symptoms, international conflicts and irrational tyrants bent on attaining the WMD that experts say will nudge the world ever-closer to nuclear doom.

And now I have to worry about artificial time manipulations increasing my risk of deadly heart attack.

Then there’s the tedious logistics of it all. My computer and phone both automatically reset, but my three watches, my Bose stereo, car radio and two battery operated clocks require pesky manual adjustments.

Changing clocks takes time. And every second spent tinkering with the hands of time is another second spent dreading the unhealthy consequences.

And, really, big picture, I fret over what DST does to the Doomsday Clock. Artificially operating since 1947, it was intended to herald the threat to humanity from nuclear catastrophe, but has since upped the gloom quotient by adding the threat from climate change.

Could a careless re-setting of the Doomsday Clock render all my cares and worries moot?

I’m too sleep deprived to calculate the possibilities.

I do know this much: I’ve never once heard my morning farm report announce there’s a strange outbreak of bovine insomnia striking the region.

And until you start seeing cows with wristwatches strapped to their left front legs, I doubt you’re going to find a cow that has trouble sleeping.

They go through life untroubled by our vanities regarding time and the pretense of our ability to control it -- right up until the kind-hearted farmer packs them off to the slaughter house.

And now I’m doomed to spend at least part of the day wondering if the Doomsday Clock has a snooze alarm. Holocaust or not, I’m still going to need my beauty sleep.

But that’s a matter to be resolved another day.

Right now I just don’t have the time.