We don’t know the identity of the scoundrel who pulled the plug on Sunday’s historic Bruce Springsteen/Paul McCartney Hyde Park performance, but let’s out of speculative spite say it was Mitt Romney.
He’s very uptight, strict about petty rules and may have been upset that both Bruce and Paul will out of principle refuse his millionaire tax cuts.
That’s how polarized we are.
Something inhuman and barbaric like what happened in London happens and we immediately suppose the guy we oppose was behind it.
I only made the absurd charge about Romney to beat Limbaugh to the punch. He’s a day late from blaming the whole fiasco on Obama. And why would Obama pull the plug on such a great show?
Obama hates America, of course.
And what says America more than a kid from New Jersey and a kid from Liverpool getting together in London to play a few tunes by the Union Jack’s greatest export?
The more I think about it the angrier I get. You have Paul McCartney and Bruce Springsteen, among the top five most beloved musicians in history, playing “I Saw Her Standing There,” “Twist & Shout,” and at 10:43 p.m., right in the middle of “La Bamba” you pull the plug?
Who would do such a thing?
My first guess was Johnnie from the uproarious “Airplane!” movies. He was the flamboyant air traffic controller adept at making things like hats and broaches out of vital weather maps.
He pulled the plug during a crucial approach of an endangered jet liner making it a bad day for Lloyd Bridges’ character to quit sniffing glue.
I wonder if that’s how Springsteen felt.
“I’ve waited 50 years for this!” he exalted as McCartney strolled without fanfare onto the stage.
So something he’d anticipated for years was over in the blink of an eye and failed to live up to his heady expectations. Look for The Boss to write a bittersweet song equating the event with losing his virginity.
I first heard about it when I read some retweets by E Streeter Little Stevie Van Zandt. He was livid.
“English cops may be the only individuals left on earth that wouldn’t want to hear one more from Bruce Springsteen and Paul McCartney!” he wrote.
And, “I’m sorry but I have to be honest. I’m pissed. Like I said, it didn’t ruin the great night. But when I’m jamming with McCartney don’t bug me.”
This is no idle threat coming from a guy who’s buddies with Tony Soprano, another huge Springsteen fan who may or may not still be alive chewing onion rings in an obscure Jersey diner at this very moment.
It’s been my privilege to see Springsteen 20 times, McCartney once (I still tingle at the sublime recollection).
I guarantee there were tears in the eyes of thousands of fans as the two shared a microphone on “I Saw Her Standing There.”
This will go down in rock ‘n’ roll history as one of music’s worst crimes. We’re left to wonder just what might have been.
As I said, we don’t know anything about who gave the order to pull the plug for what they said were public safety concerns.
But we can make some informed guesses.
It’s a person who doesn’t get high or approve of anyone who does. It is someone who reveres order over spontaneity. It’s someone who if you ask, “Stones or Beatles?” will probably respond “Donnie Osmond -- but only the old stuff.”
It is starting to sound a lot like Mitt
Or maybe Roger Goodell.
We may never know.
But I know this: If they can do it to McCartney and Springsteen, they can do it anyone.
So beware. Any venue, forum or blog is now subject to the no-fun police let loose on society to cause pain in happy places where people seek joy and enlightenment.
Wholesome places like this humble little --
THIS BLOG HAS BEEN BY TEMPORARILY SHUT DOWN BY ORDER OF THE LONDON POLICE. STOP HAVING FUN IMMEDIATELY AND GO STRAIGHT TO BED.
AND NO HANKY-PANKY!