The divisive Paul McCartney Christmas song

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A 1979 song Paul McCartney wrote in one afternoon will again earn him more than $400,000 this year for a cumulative total of more than $15 million.

Yes, for Sir Paul it’s always a “Wonderful Christmastime.”

By contrast, this will be the 1,542 blog post I’ve written since 2007, a steadfast tally that’s earned me exactly $102 in supportive donations.

“Wonderful Christmastime” is controversial around the Rodell family dinner table — and if that statement has you concluding dinner conversation at my table ain’t exactly a Bill Maher roundtable, you’re correct.

It’s usually just the four of us sitting around listening to Christmas music, discussing our days and trying to guess who it was that just farted.

I’m kidding.

I’m the only one who farts.

But conversation gets pointed when McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” comes on.

I find it pleasant enough, but Val hates it. And she says that nearly every time it comes on.

“I hate this song,” she says. “It’s just so annoying.”

I don’t love it, but I always admonish her for her viciousness toward something so innocuous as a little Christmas ditty.

I save my hatred for true evil. Things like ISIL, injustice and Roger Goodell.

It is surprising to me how some songs about our most joyful holiday can be so divisive.

The Wikipedia entry on the song says many consider it one of Paul’s poorest compositions and quotes Beatles author Robert Rodriguez as saying, “Love it or hate it, few songs within the McCartney oeuvre have provoked such strong reactions.”

C’mon! It’s a Christmas song!

If we as a people allow Christmas carols to divide us, how will we ever remain united when we decide on some distant day that maybe — maybe — it’s time to thoughtfully and with open minds discuss things like how to decrease gun violence?

Even if you don’t like the melody, there is much to admire about the tune.

It’s catchy. It’s simple. Its run time doesn’t exceed 4 minutes. The lyrics include “ding dong ding dong ding dong dong ding.” And “ooo ooo ooo toot toot toot toot toot.”

Here’s something you probably didn’t know: The track personnel is listed as follows … 

Vocals: Paul McCartney

Guitar: Paul McCartney

Bass: Paul McCartney

Keyboards: Paul McCartney

Drums: Paul McCartney

Percussion: Paul McCartney

I guess Paul McCartney worried just calling it “The Paul McCartney Band” would have come across as too pretentious.

I love Paul. He’s my second favorite Beatle behind George and while I wish no ill on anyone, I hope for the sake of our collective cool we never refer to Ringo as “the last surviving Beatle.”

“Hey Jude,” “Yesterday,” “Let It Be,” “Live and Let Die” — Paul’s songs are indelible.

He’s reportedly worth in excess of $660 million, which is just shy of the Gross National Product of the nation of Guam, pop. 165,124.

And, geez, a $15 million drop of that bucket comes from a song many tasteful listeners despise, a throwaway that probably took him less time to write than it takes me to sort the weekly recyclables.

In fact, I probably took more care in crafting this stupid little Monday morning blog than the great Sir Paul did in the entire composition of “Wonderful Christmastime.” For that he gets $15 million.

And I get squat.

No dough. No recognition.

My wife’s right.

That song is just so fucking annoying!

Related . . .

Lennon vs. McCartney

Yuletide taints & Christmas creep

’twas a Merry Christmas in July

Is Ringo tired of being a Starr?

Now they’ve gone and ruined jukeboxes

Sunday encore! We've had enough Christmas songs since '92

I can’t say I’m sick of Christmas music, but that’s just because I guess I’m immune to them. We play them all the time. They’re on in our house, in the car and they’re everywhere people go except — hallelujah — the sanctuary of where I go for inebriation. I wrote this in ’08 and it’s conclusion was demolished the very next year when Bob Dylan released an entire album of pointless Christmas ditties. Oh, well. Still, I thought this was worth trotting out today as a seasonal re-run.

Have a great day!

It’s not because I’m basking in the bosom of toy-addled family love that December 26 is one of my favorite days of the year. No, I’m at peace because the day means it’ll be about 335 days before my ears are tortured by another Christmas song.

Well, to be accurate, it’ll probably be another 240 days or just after Labor Day before I hear another one.

The Christmas song creep gets worse and worse every year. By creep, I mean how Christmas songs show up earlier and earlier and not Elvis Presley. Yes, the King is de facto king of modern Christmas songs having recorded hundreds of standards, duets and originals, including one, “It Won't Seem Like Christmas (Without You)” that lists the songwriting credits as “Elvis Presley, Balthazar,” the by God name of one of the Three Wisemen.

The man had connections.

It’s been at least 15 years since we topped out with just the right amount of Christmas songs. After 1992 we haven’t needed another one. Still every year artists try in vain to add to the timeless mix.

A safe way to rank the credibility of bands (and actors for that matter -- sorry Vince Vaughn) is on how few Christmas songs or performances with which they’ve been associated.

I love classic country music, but this sensible posture practically rules out the entire genre for credibility consideration. No one panders more to their fan base with tired Christmas ditties than country music stars.

Toby Keith, hardly a timeless classic along the lines of George Strait or Alan Jackson, has already released two full Christmas albums. And you have to believe the tough guy poser had to be persuaded to enthusiastically sing “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let it Snow!” lest it over take his anthems about boots in the asses of dark-skinned folks around the world.

Keith’s arch-nemesis, the Dixie Chicks, however have never released a single Christmas song. Keith has outsold the Chicks by many millions, but give the gals marks when it comes to credibility.

Even the great Steve Earle suffers from a slight Yuletide taint. He recorded “Christmas in Washington,” a moving lament about political decay in the capital. It’s a great song, still it’s a Christmas song and we have all we need.

It gets a little murkier for me when you get to the great rock bands. Even accomplished artists like Tom Petty, U2, Bob Seger, John Mellencamp and Bruce Springsteen couldn’t resist the cheap temptation to make a seasonal grab, even though the Petty song, “Christmas All Over Again” still gets my pulse racing when it comes on the radio.

Recorded in 1992, it’s maybe the last new Christmas song we’ve ever needed.

For years I used this Christmas song argument to bolster my insistence that the Rolling Stones were the greatest band in history. But then I discovered a rare Keith Richards solo cover of Chuck Berry’s great Christmas song, “Run Run Rudolph.”

Granted, it was done in 1971, Keith’s only one-fifth or so of the band, and he probably doesn’t even remember 1971, much less recording the song, but the taint persists.

The Beatles? Forget it. Both John and Paul have recorded preachy and silly Christmas songs respectively and, for heaven’s sake, every song Ringo’s ever recorded could be considered a Christmas song.

The Christmas stipulation significantly strengthens my contention that George Harrison was the greatest Beatle. It’s unlikely Harrison’s ever recorded a Christmas song -- and I’m certainly not counting anything about Vishnu or other Hindu big shots he often praised.

I was sorely tempted to make an exception for The Kinks, one of my very favorite bands. But how could I when they have a great popular song, “Father Christmas.” The Ray Davies lyrics are perfectly subversive. Check ‘em out:

When I was small I believed in Santa Claus
Though I knew it was my dad
And I would hang up my stocking at Christmas
Open my presents and I’d be glad

But the last time I played Father Christmas
I stood outside a department store
A gang of kids came over and mugged me
And knocked my reindeer to the floor

They said:
Father Christmas, give us some money
Don’t mess around with those silly toys.
We’ll beat you up if you don’t hand it over
We want your bread so don’t make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

I’ll stand those words up against “Silent Night” as the sublime essence of 21st century Christmas any day.

Still, I have to be fair. It’s a Christmas song so that rules out The Kinks.

That leaves us with Bob Dylan.

Born Robert Zimmerman to devout Jews, he’s never penned a single Christmas ditty, even though he went though a born-again Christian phase in the late 1970s when he may have been tempted to sonically celebrate the holy season.

One of our most proud and prolific songwriters, a man who’s written more than 600 songs, has never once penned a song about Rudolph, Santa, mangers, or cuddly snowmen. It’s a staggering achievement.

To me, at least.

I’m sure there’s some may consider that a blotch or even an affront. They may say it’s a religious insult coming from a man born Jewish.

I disagree.

I can name one other pretty famous Jew who never did much of anything during his life to celebrate Christmas.