Charlie & Norah: a CBS morning news love story

(803 words)

I’m considering a drastic change in my morning routine. See, I usually get up at 6 a.m. and stumble to my office to spend the first couple of hours writing one of these blogs.

I may soon put off any writing until 8 a.m. so I can stay home and watch “CBS This Morning.”

Why risk train-wrecking a custom that seems to be working?

I guess I’m just too romantic for my own good.

Yes, Charlie and Norah are in love!

That would be “CBS This Morning” hosts Charlie Rose and Norah O’Donnell.

Rose is 71; O’Donnell is not.

Morning news is a hard habit to break. I stayed with NBC’s “Today” show until it became insufferable. I broke free right about the time when the Ann Curry drama was at full boil.

See, I’m a news junkie. I love to know what’s going on in the world. With “Today,”  that used to be about an hour or so of credible reporting and interviews with newsmakers.

Then they saw ABC’s “Good Morning America” succeeding by becoming a sort of soap opera sprinkled with little bits of floating news confetti. I’d watch that show when I’d visit my mother -- and I’m convinced their target audience is senior citizens with mild dementia -- and be repelled by the pathos, the giggling and party atmosphere.

It was like watching “iCarly” on the Disney Channel only if it occasionally guest starred folks like Benjamin Netanyahu and Honey Boo Boo.

So “Today” began to tinker with its format by cramming all the tedious news into about 12 slim minutes. The next step was convincing Matt Lauer, Savannah Guthrie and human chuckle machine Al Roker they were no longer mere news personalities.

They were actors.

They’d been told the key to sustaining their multi-million dollar incomes was they needed to act as if they liked each other.

Really, really liked each other.

They were told morning show on-camera chemistry was essential to engaging today’s viewers. But it’s the kind of chemistry that can’t be concocted in a lab. 

So, fed up, I decided to give CBS a shot. They were at the time promoting the morning show as straight news featuring the reliably likable Rose with the appealing Erica Hill. They had a crackerjack team of reporters and I found it very satisfying.

Then one day last year I tuned in to see Hill had been replaced by the vivacious O’Donnell. She’s beautiful. A married mother of three (with twins), she combines poise, competence, wit and warmth.

I enjoyed the contrast when the camera would swing from the luminescent O’Donnell, 39, over to Rose, a rumpled gent with eyelids so droopy he’s begun to resemble hungover basset hounds.

And it was all just news -- insightful, crisp, glorious news free of any political slant or mood-souring commentary.

Then one day I was electrified to see the two engage in a wonderfully human moment.

As they were breaking for commercial, O’Donnell stood up, leaned over and cupped her hand around Rose’s ear to whisper something so risque she didn’t dare let anyone else hear.

What she said, I can not imagine. I like to think it was something filthy.

But Rose’s reaction was euphoric. His head flew back, his jaw dropped and his eyebrows shot up so far I thought they were going to launch off his face. And he began to roar with laughter.

She had caught him completely off guard with something so funny I had to stick around through the commercial to see if he could compose himself (he did).

I thought, man, these two really like each other.

So I began watching more frequently. Sure, I still enjoy the news, but the romantic in me had to begin charting where the relationship was heading.

I swear, I think it’s to the altar.

These two playful kids are now crazy in love.

Last week, I was watching and O’Donnell couldn’t keep her hands off Rose, who’s been divorced since 1980. She’s always reaching across the desk to touch his arm. They crack each other up, share caring little glances and radiate the sizzling kind of chemistry reality-show producers pray develops between their moronic contestants.

It’s wonderful.

And unlike the distasteful “Today” show fiasco involving Curry, what’s happening with Charlie and Norah is all about love! Love! Love!

Watching these two people in this often stilted situation make each other so happy is making me happy.

If these two keep clicking the way they are, I imagine one day Norah will take a leave to save her family while Charlie will gallantly say he only wants what’s best for the fair Norah.

Rumors will begin to swirl that the two are in love. It’s a story that will certainly make the news.

I swear, it’s already making it for me.

Related . . .

Arrivederci, Ann Curry

Matt Lauer’s got the blues

Taiwanese animators coloring future news

Darieth, don’t go! When a local news lovely leaves

Arrivederci, Ann Curry

I felt a flood of emotion when I learned Ann Curry was being dumped from the “Today” show, which is exactly how Ann Curry wants me to react when she reports on things like actual floods.

I felt confusion, heartbreak, anxiety and finally, sustained relief.

Confusion because dumping Curry won’t fix a thing; heartbreak because she seems like a nice lady; anxiety because we’re about to be subjected to another tedious search for elusive anchor chemistry; and sustained relief when I read that Curry’s going to haul in $20 million to take a hike to some news outpost like Budapest.

Feckless TV critics devote endless time and space dissecting the ratings and petty hostilities of late night TV hosts when that is a format that still succeeds.

I prefer Jay, but some nights I’m entertained by Dave. I can find something nice to say about Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson and am even warming to Jimmy Fallon. And if all these hosts go dark at the same instant, I’ll always have Seinfeld re-runs I’ve already viewed 193 times previous to spare me from having to ever watch Conan.

But morning network TV is an absolute mess.

The right side of its brain strives to be news oriented; the left, entertaining. The result is two hours of pure mindlessness.

Recent “Today” opening segments progressed like this: Morning! Wildfires, immigration, hurricane, Romney, Obama, Supreme Court, Olympics -- you can almost sense palpable unease on the set as the anchors convey something they worry might upset viewers.

Actual news takes about nine jiffy minutes. Then anorexic but still lovely news reader Natalie Morales drops a clip designed for someone on the set to play the part of scripted straight man.

This morning it was a 30-second spot saying the British Parliament had changed the official name of “Big Ben” -- Clock Tower -- to Elizabeth Tower to mark the old babe’s Diamond Jubilee.

Now, anyone who’s seen even a week of “Today” knew exactly what was going to happen next. Someone was going to launch a joke that would signal, hey, we apologize for having to put you through all that news so we’re going to give you a giddy burst of laughter to signal we’re just moments away from the cooking segments.

Today, the line fell to Curry, a woman so earnest she couldn’t be funny if Al Roker smashed her in the puss with a pie.

Her line?

“I guess you could call that a sex change operation.”

The reaction was the same as if Tony Soprano told a joke to Paulie Walnuts and the gang down at the Bada Bing: Uproarious laughter. Al was practically wiping tears from his eyes.

Some of this over-reaction may have been sympathy for Dead Ann Walking. Curry’s clearly well-liked, but it’s not working, something that saddens Curry.

“It’s hard not to take it personally,” she told Ladies Home Journal. “You worry, ‘Am I not good enough? Am I not what people need?’”

I can sympathize.

I, too, have given into swooning frets over my popularity.

Back in the fourth grade.

Curry’s problem is, like the venue she serves, she wants to be all things to all people.

I wish “Today” and current ratings leader “Good Morning America” would just ditch the pretense of being interested in actual news and go full pander on their core demographic: mothers who care about true crime stories involving mothers who were killed by husbands, mothers who kill their husbands and mothers suspected of killing their children.

I tried to think who the surefire host to sit next to Matt would be and really think they should try Ellen Degeneres. She’s very funny and intelligent.

Savannah Guthrie, the current frontrunner to replace Curry, will be in the same predicament that’s led to Curry’s demise. She’s intelligent, attractive and gets giggly with Matt and Al.

That didn’t help Curry and it won’t help Guthrie.

So where’s a guy to go for morning news?

“CBS This Morning.” The six-month-old show features Charlie Rose and Erica Hill doing 60 full minutes of serious news in an appealing and balanced format. Then at 8 a.m., Gayle King comes in to take over most of the fluffy stuff.

Rose is a real pro -- and he’s good and ugly, too. I trust ugly anchors because I know they earned their news chops through more than their pretty haircuts.

Hill’s wonderful. She’s pretty, whip smart and delivers the news in a professional way that doesn’t lead me to believe she’s going to offer up an exposed breast for me to suckle in case things start to get too scary. 

If you’re interested in serious journalism and haven’t checked it out, I have some news for you.

So does CBS.