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Monday, May 15, 2017

Comey, 6'8", and looming even larger


Beltway pundits were in a typical tizzy Sunday after James Comey was spotted at a  Broadway performance about a lesbian cartoonist. It was his first public outing since being unceremoniously fired.

They wanted to know if he was signaling he was aligning with leftist forces or if maybe it was time for Mike Pence to begin taking steps to pray away a rash outburst of Broadway gay.

I had more logistical concerns.

Namely, who’s the poor bastard who shelled out $140 to sit behind a human obstruction like Comey? He’s 6-foot-8, an inch taller than the average NBA player.

It’d be like sitting behind the Washington Monument.

We’re hearing a lot about Comey since Trump dumped him. We hear he’s a good boss, a strong leader and we hear without any sense of irony he’s a real stand-up guy.

At 6’8” he’s a stand up, up, up guy.

I hear “Fun Home,” the play the Comeys saw, is fantastic. It won the 2015 Tony Award for best musical. It’s Alison Bechdel’s coming-of-age story about how she, a graphic artist, wrestles with the suicide of her gay father while at the same time confronting her own sexuality.

With jaunty show tunes!

I’m guessing the casting director didn’t need to find any John Wayne-types when he or she was filling out the roles.

Really, it sounds like something J. Edgar Hoover, Comey’s cross-dressing predecessor, would enjoy.

But Comey?

What do we know about him?

Besides his height, I’m struck by the fact he has really great hair and his name is pronounced COMB-y.

It’s like finding a postal employee named Maley.

Do you ever find yourself deferring to taller people? Note: I craftily constructed that sentence so it wouldn’t ask if you “looked up” to taller people.

I know many tall folks who are just as stupid as smaller sorts. Yet tall people do seem to have advantages that have nothing to do with reaching for things on the top shelf without pulling out a utility ladder. They’re just naturally imposing.

But could being tall have worked against Comey with an appearance-obsessed goofball like Trump?

Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker thinks so. She’s conservative, but I always try to read her because she’s bright, witty and doesn’t insinuate that those who disagree with her are Satan’s spawn.

Here’s what she wrote: “What could have prompted Trump to (fire Comey)? In a Trumpian world, stalled somewhere between second grade and a prep school locker room, even the ridiculous seems plausible. So, let’s try a wild one: Maybe Trump fired Comey for being taller, at 6 feet, 8 inches. In light of his infatuation with size, one can easily imagine that a 6-foot-3-inch Trump would resent having to look up to the guy who was investigating possible collusion between his campaign and Russia.”

Interesting.

My wife asked me what I think of Comey.

I told her I hated how he interfered with the election, but sense he didn’t do so lightly or with malevolent intent.

“And I think he’s truly righteous about being 100 percent honest and forthright in every situation and that makes him to Trump the most dangerous man on the planet.”

It won’t earn any Tony nominations, but Comey testifying before Congress about what Trump said and knows promises to be truly great theater.

Because for someone like Trump the only thing worse than sitting behind a guy like Comey is seeing him standing up, facing forward, with his hand on a Bible.



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