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Monday, July 11, 2011

Tweet round-up

So here you go, another occasional "Tweets of the Month" post. In the interest of titular integrity, I'm only doing one a month.

(By the way, that line was only 126 characters long.)

AMC's discussed Stallone-tribute day means Rocky will be yo!-biquitous.

• Aging Kevin Bacon is starting to look like Kevin bacon.

• My finances have been in dire straits for so long you think by now they'd have played bass for Mark Knopfler.

• Some Latin words have corrupted meanings: Nothing hospitable about hospitals. Should be called either docitals or discomfitals.

• The only time I hope I ever encounter a monkey wrench is when I'm in the presence of a really loose monkey.

• Gnat Levi Johnson seems like such a jerk I hope Ann Coulter falls madly and blindly in love with him.

• Radioactive leaks found at 48 U.S. nuke sites. Goodness me, could this be industrial disease? (I simultaneously posted this on facebook and was surprised none of my friends recognized this as the Dire Straits song, “Industrial Disease,” proving friends can be just as disappointing as family.)

• Perverted farmers spend too much time on the lamb.

• People who start today slavishly filling out calendars for the next five days are week-minded.

• I keep confusing natural light with neon beer signs, not sunshine. It doesn't help whenever I walk into a bar and see "Natural Light" signs.

• Editors said my lead about National Nude Recreation week is too racy. I told them I'd take another crack at it.

• In 1968 the Rolling Stones released 'Jumpin' Jack Flash and gas, gas, gas was .33 cents a gallon, gallon, gallon.

• Sometimes thinking about taking a nap is as refreshing as actual napping. I wish it worked like that with Friday Happy Hours.

• I'd swear off profanity but fear it would be counter-intuitive.

• I'm so pro-organic I get suspicious whenever I see a margarine-colored butterfly.

• It's acceptable to describe even sweet-tempered bakers in pie shop kitchens as either crusty or flaky.

• Will and Kate wrap up California jaunt and return to England. I guess it's time for them to get back to work.

Thanks for reading!


yogurt said...

goodness me could it be industrial disease?

Chris Rodell said...

Two men say they're Jesus, one of 'em must be wrong!