Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Word quest

I’m consumed with trying to coin a word whose usage will become so widespread that one day it’ll earn a place in the Webster’s Dictionary. Here are some of my efforts that, so far, have failed to catch any lexicographical fire. And “lexicographical” is an existing word.

You can look it up.

Here are some you can't.

Glibberish -- pointless party chatter between two people who’d rather be be talking to anyone else.

Teastosterone -- the surplus hormones that get men so consumed with ambitious lust that women find them universally repulsive.

Error-plane -- Typical commercial flight that leaves late, is overbooked, and loses luggage after landing at the wrong airport.

Crapple -- A flavorless apple.

Birthquakes -- labor pains.

Motorvator -- top notch mechanic.

Vagetarian -- An avid lesbian.

Comatoes -- condition of one's foot falling asleep; Latin, parasthesia.

Slimitators -- Impressionable young girls intent on looking like Hollywood anorexics.

Stork-Raving Mad -- post-partum depression.

Shamorous -- A person, male or female, whose ugly nature is concealed under makeup or plastic surgery.

Decrapitate -- An editorial elimination of all the bullshit from a piece of writing.

Santaclaustrophobia -- The fear of sitting in a department store Santa's lap.

Feel free to use these at will. They make great Happy Hour glibberish.

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